32 and Braces How to even begin this journey. I am 32 years old. I have a Bachelor’s Degree, a 10 year old niece, and a ’95 Toyota Tacoma. I’m old enough to remember the first time neon colors were cool. I’m old enough to remember when Chuckie Cheeze was a rolly polly rat spokesmen for Showbiz Pizza rather than the skateboarding namesake for a children’s entertainment center. Most importantly, I remember the first time I had braces. The office was in the basement of a dark, 70’s style office building. There was a large fish tank with blue lights and white fish. I was sixteen. I had put it off and put it off and waited and worried and finally, I was going to get braces. The teenage torture device. The social-life destructor. The nail in the nerd coffin. Looking back now, I have no idea why I was so worried. Who cares about high school? Who cares that I didn’t have a boyfriend when I was sixteen? Or even seventeen for that matter? Now that I am thirty-two, single, and facing the daunting thought of another year of braces, seventeen is nothing. Braces. The reason I had braces in the first place was to correct a ‘snaggle’ tooth that jutted out of from the rest of my teeth. The first round of braces didn't fix it completely, so it's something I've always had. The friends I’ve told about my latest plans have said “oh but it’s so you!” “it gives you character!” “it’s not that noticeable!” Definitely not as noticeable as braces. With a crooked tooth—or any facial oddity—humans tend to notice it once, then disregard it, classify it as “you.” Well I don’t want to be “snaggle-tooth.” I want pretty teeth! I want to smile wide! I want to blind folks with my pearly whites! I want to do this all without having to go through braces again! I met with my orthodontist yesterday to discuss Invisalign. No good. It might make me look better, but it won’t fix the real special problems. And it would cost just as much. And now, the only advantage I see in being 32 and getting braces is that I have 16 more years of life experience under my belt than I did the first time, enough to know that one more year is nothing. Metallic smiles are nothing. For the end result I want, it’s ridiculous to put it off anymore. If anything, when I was done with my consultation, I had a hard time talking myself out of getting braces. The logic just adds up. And so, today, I embark on a grand adventure: the adventures of a 32 year old virgin with braces. Snaggle-tooth be gone!